Imagine for a moment that you are stuck indoors for days on end because of monsoon-like rain. Imagine what that’s like when you throw children into the mix. Then multiply times 10 and you have my life at the moment. My 5-year-old and 8-year-old sons have autism and ADHD, respectively, and are a challenge on a normal day. All children are a challenge on a normal day, but mine are bouncing off the walls challenging. On a sunny day, they have recess at school and then play outside at daycare after homework time. They often ride their bikes in the driveway once we come home. All of these get them sufficiently worn out so that they are too tired to argue, fuss, and fight. It’s been raining for days now. I’m not sure when the sun shone last time and I’m not sure if it’s planning on shining again. It is driving this mama insane and coinciding with my episode of severe anxiety. The noise inside my head plus the noise of my little monsters (as I affectionately call them) is making it very difficult to be a good mom.The kids are fighting with each other and arguing with me, which is causing me to yell at them. I then feel guilty for losing my temper. My 8-year-old told me that he hated me tonight. Awesome. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom purposely several times. I wish I could drown out some of the noise, but oh how Mommy’s ears hear! Maybe if I stood outside in the monsoon, it would drown out the noise. Or I would just be distracted by the squirrels that just floated by on a mini-ark. It sounds promising either way, except for the getting cold and wet part. I think I am going to stick my fingers in my ears and sing “lalalalala” until this rain is over. Hurricane Whatever-your-name-is better move on soon. I need to see the sun before I completely lose my mind. I wonder if I am alone in feeling this way. Surely other parents, parents without mood disorders, contemplate the possibility of drowning to avoid the noise of their stir crazy children. Anyone? Anyone?
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