I Am Not Healed, But Am Getting There

September and October were tough months, but through the adversity, I have found a job I love, the promise of a new relationship, and happy children

This past month has been a hard-fought journey with a narrow, winding road. This has been one of the hardest destabilizations of my life. In my desperate quest for healing, I have forgotten the One who heals all, the Lord our God. My faith has been shaken by this test. My mind has not been clear. I keep having a recurring dream that I am drowning. A hand reaches down to the water to grab my hand and pull me up. I now realize that is our Lord, reaching to me in my weakened state to save me from completely going under. This is not to say that my life is *poof* magically better. It’s not. My journey still lies ahead of me. I am feeling battered and bruised by my experience. I am still anxious, fearful, and sometimes tearful. I am still working through the pain of betrayal by those whom I thought were my friends, but who shattered my trust. I know God will use this experience in some way. It may be to increase my faith or to help someone else who also may be drowning. I don’t know for sure yet, but I know He is pulling me from the ocean of my fears, misgivings, and hurt and into a place of healing. God is holding my hand and that is all I need to get me through.