My Happy Place

It’s December 20, 2015, and I’ve almost made it to my happy place. In some ways, I am already in my happy place, as in the case of my wonderful boys and the home we’ve created. A year that started with a tumultuous divorce is ending as the year I discovered that I can do life by myself. I can take care of me and my mini-mes.

This year has been a challenge in managing my bipolar disorder. Chronic, unrelenting insomnia led to mood swings, which in turn led to medication changes that did not work. I am finally on the right drug cocktail, for now. The gift of having bipolar is that I have been helping to admin a bipolar Facebook group. I’ve also tried to break the stigma, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

This year, I have let go of friendships with people who wanted to manipulate me through my illness. I’ve lost some other friends as collateral damage. I’ve also been blessed to have the opportunity to reconnect with old friends who love me despite my being a little kooky.

I’ve tried to let go of old hurts as water under the bridge. Forgiving people, as difficult as it may be, sets me free.

My faith has been reaffirmed this year, too. I’ve stopped running away and am now running to God. It’s still a struggle because I want to take back my troubles after I turn them over to him.

Finally, the last item on my happy list will be coming as of December 28th. That is the day I start a new job, the next phase of my career. I have been blessed as a nurse to do many things in 18 years. I will miss the important friendships I have made in the past four years. I will be leaving behind a very supportive manager who has always had my back and who I consider a friend. But my new adventure is leading me in a direction in which I am interested. I will be helping to change the way people think about their healthcare. I am blessed to begin this new journey.

To all who have stood by me and with me this year, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Your love and support means more than you will ever know.

Soon we will be on to 2016. As my pastor says, the best is yet to come.